


Man Down

by The_Northborn_Siren



Category: Journey to Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, M/M, Platonic Relationship, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:49:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22260604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Northborn_Siren/pseuds/The_Northborn_Siren
Summary: FN-2189 was a loyal storm trooper to the First Order, or that's what he thought he was. After being abandoned on a planet after a battle, 89 discovers a connection to the force and attempts to train himself. After months of self discovery and training he comes to the terrifying conclusion that he embraces the light side of the force. But with the fear of trying to join the resistance, he returns to the First Order. All he wanted to do was fade in the background, but who knew destiny would expose him.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Male Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Male Character(s), Poe Dameron/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	Man Down

FN-2187 had a few friends in his squadron, one of them being FN-2189. A 20 year old guy with wide brown eyes and sensitivity to match. FN-2187 always wondered how '89 handled each day when he went to battle more often and dealt with boardings from the rebels more often. Once in a while he would get an answer with seeing red puffy eyes in the morning or during the middle of the night. '89 wasn't treated like the sensitive guy he was because equal treatment of stormtroopers was enforced even with interactions between troopers. It wasn't until a specific trip to a lush green planet where '89 seemed "different". 

It had been 24 hours since the invasion of a Republic ally's planet went south for the First Order and '89 knew he had been left behind because of his injury. He took off all his armour but kept his helmet in a sack just in case. He was not looking to become a prisoner of war. He stayed near a cliff in the jungle were he could see the Capitol in the far distance but knew the guarded perimeter did not go up the cliff. '89 did everything he could to stay alive: build a shelter, find moving water, make a fire and dry out some game to preserve for the long run. If only he could just get a ship he could meet up with the rest of the fleet but he did not think of himself as capable to steal a rebel ship. So he stayed in his part of the jungle.  
Soon bored out of his mind, he began thinking of the days where he would guard Kylo Ren's training room and watch him train. '89 began trying to understand what the force is and began meditating, trying to combat his impatience. Soon 10 second sessions turned into a minute, then five minutes and so on. He began feeling something, but without guidance he had to rationalize it himself. Something between particles. Something binding. Every emotion living beings felt, even emotions he didn't have a name for in English. Death, and live flashed before his eyes. Balance and chaos flew across his closed eyes, but then he started noticing the light and dark.  
He saw a hole, a dark hole with a seductive power. '89 felt both afraid and reassured of its presence. After staring at this hole for what seemed like hours he decided to open his eyes to think more about what this meant and to see if it was a dream or something else. When he opened his eyes and made a move to get up he was met with the hole again at the edge of the cliff. '89 rushed backwards, startled at its appearance in what he assumed to be the tangible reality. He saw the power he would need to never be afraid, to feel safe no matter the situation, to feel a belonging to the First Order like he never felt before. '89 didn't move for the longest time, frozen in fear. Suddenly, he knew the answer. The answer brought peace to his mind and filled his chest with a warmth.  
"No." He said softly, but firmly. The hole vanished, along with the warmth and '89 was left alone once more, feeling more empty than the day he realized he was left behind. 

'89 spent his time rationalizing the feelings he felt and reasoned that the warm feeling was a last ditch effort and a tactic of the dark side. He then asked himself: "Why did I say no? I am loyal to the First Order, no?" He didn't meditate for weeks out of the fear of the dark side. But '89 was too curious. Could he get off this planet and meet up with his squadron? Could he find 87 again? When he began meditating again he could feel the hole's presence. Waiting for him to slip up. But 89 did not want to become what the First Order want. He decided to keep this awakening to himself, but still practice. He began trying to lift objects, and found it surprisingly easy. Kylo seemed to be in pain every time he challenged himself. 89 kept his focus using an embarrassing emotion, or rather, a thought. The fact that he wished he had never existed. That he would want to die without a trace and without pain. He was afraid to do it because of the painful and meticulous ways that were available: eaten by a creature, a sharp object, falling off a cliff (there is a chance of a painful survival), and being bitten by a venomous animal. 89 began testing his skills on larger and larger objects, forgetting to hunt and to fetch water for the evening to come. Soon he had run out of dried emergency rations and decided to hunt. Next was the mind trick. By looking into animal's eyes he was able to find food easily. 89 was excited because he was able to ask animals if they were willing to give their lives to save him. Some said no, some said yes. 89 came back with a meal for the night and replenished rations for a 3 day shortage, as that was all he could do without anything spoiling before he could prepare the meat. Soon he befriended animals who did not want to give up their lives but still sat by him and 89 would feed them as well. They would come and go, refusing to be domesticated even though that was not 89's intent.  
Soon enough 89 had a bad day. It was raining heavily and his shelter gave out because of the downpour ruining his foundation. He dropped tools, tripped over rocks he never tripped over, his hair was constantly in his eyes and plastered on his forehead and 89 had enough. He cried out in frustration and quickly sat down to collect himself. He knew the dark side was waiting for him to turn to anger. He ended up sobbing and begin to feel the emptiness creep in. No anger from the rain, and no comfort from the innocent animal friends and 89 began toying with rocks by his camp. He spun them in circles, made images out of them but just ending up crushing them mid aid to a fine powder and watch it blow away. He began visualizing his unnecessary emotions and reactions to the situation as the rocks and crushed them so that they could be destroyed respectfully and blown into the wind so that they would trouble no one. Then 89 felt peace. This was the way he would use the force. In ways that make people feel relieved as he felt, as comforted as he felt. He knew the force was also a force for good as well as evil.  
Then a realization dawned on him. He would not be welcomed back to the First Order as he is. He no longer was loyal to its cause and to Kylo Ren. He had to find another belonging somewhere else. The emptiness came back, but there was a promise to a new belonging to come after 89 collected himself. He looked to his friends and decided to train himself to protect his thoughts as reading thoughts came easy to Snoke and Kylo Ren. He manipulated what thoughts would show and what thoughts were hidden. It took another month before he felt ready, but continued his training nonetheless. Soon another First Order ship began another attack. 89 was inclined to run towards the ship but instead just slipped on his helmet and listened. It was another attack with part of his squadron in tow. He chimed in:  
"This is FN-2189, reporting." Silence ensued. Captain Phasma finally replied.  
"Rendez-vous at the Capitol immediately and board the ship. Be prepared for possible reconditioning. Standby for more orders."  
"Yes Captain."  
89 was scared. Terrified, even. He found his hiding spot for his armour, checked his weapons and grabbed some provisions out of habit. His friends watched him go and he bowed out of respect. They bowed back as a farewell and rushed into the jungle, away from the fight. 89 snuck by enemies by convincing them they did not see him without speaking. He took extra caution in doing so as to not alert Kylo or Snoke. Kylo was in orbit and 89 did, nor want to risk him knowing about what 89 could do. Soon he saw the bloodshed which he had nightmares of nearly every night after a break of nightmares of the dark side. He dodged blasters and deflected them secretly, making him seem extremely lucky. The screams of fighter jets of the First Order and the Rebels were as deafening as he remembered. Soon he saw Phasma and nodded when they made eye contact while he was making his move towards the ship. She called out,  
"FN-2189, welcome back. Report to General Hux for a debriefing." 89 nodded and made a break towards the main control ship.  
The walls were familiar and as oppressive as he remembered. Fear had been building up since his order was given. Soon the doors to the main control area opened. Hux was faced towards the battle field.  
"FN-2189 reporting General." 89 said, quickly returning to the military speech pattern ingrained into him. Hux turned to him.  
"I see that you decided to join us again FN-2189. Now tell me, where you have been?"  
"I was injured during battle while chasing rebels into the jungle. When I came to the battle was over. I have been on top of the cliff the whole time, sir." 89 replied.  
"Have you been taking note of any movement in the Capitol?"  
"Many war ships have left and not come back. Frequent round trips of heavily guarded transport ships. No increase in military protection surrounding the Capitol as I was never discovered by anyone."  
"Interesting… Anything to suggest political allies or rebels to be interacting?"  
"I would assume they use industrial transport ships to carry important people as those were the most heavily guarded and the most customized for wartime." Hux hummed and turned back towards the window.  
"Destroy all of their ships, no matter how big or small and keep the ground troops deployed. Make it seem like we are trying to take their Capitol. Retreat once all ships are destroyed."  
"Yes, sir!" The crew said in unison.  
"FN-2189, dismissed. Report for mental evaluation. We will determine if reconditioning is necessary."  
"Yes, sir."  
This is what 89 feared. The people in charge were notoriously sadistic and would use any reason to recondition someone. Luckily, 89 easily knew the right answers, leaving the officers fuming that they couldn't try anything. 89 was free to return to his duties after replacing his armour. He was sent to his quarters until the battle was over since nearly all ships were destroyed. Retreat was minutes away. Soon he was called to aid in sanitation and met up with 87.  
"There he is. Welcome back." 87 greeted with a pat of 89's back. 89 was startled at the sudden contact.  
"Sorry, it's been a rough couple of months."  
"Months? It's been a year! There are now two of you!" 87 pointed to the guy down the hall.  
"Oh. I see. I guess that will be confusing for a while."  
"Don't worry we'll just call you 89-1" 87 laughed. 89-2 did not.  
"Back to work or you will be reported." 89-2 stated coldly. 89-1 and 87 quickly went back to work.  
Soon enough, 89-1 was soon given a new ID: Squad leader M. Or called the nickname given to superiors: MIA. Hux, Kylo and Phasma enjoyed the nickname. Apparently, returning to the order without the need of reconditioning was a commemorable feat which gave Hux a sense of pride. Hux was praised for his soldiers and MIA was set as an example and his file was studied to set him as the default. MIA was ecstatic at the whole situation, especially because, he bested the system as a "failure of the system" and more troopers would be more inclined to the light side, giving a chance for many to rebel and possibly defect effectively. MIA didn't know it would be so soon. 

MIA was sent back to guard Kylo's personal training room. He was really there just to be a servant but MIA wasn’t unhappy. It was the least tedious job he could have compared to sanitation’s hundreds of rules and procedures on how to sanitize a toilet. Mostly, he was there to relay messages, clean up the training area and got more water when he ran out. However, MIA had the added stress of thinking the wrong things and his mental block not being effective and hoped that Kylo would not pay any mind to actually attempt to read MIA’s mind. MIA was trying not to be obvious with him watching how Kylo trains and compared his own training later in his quarters. MIA was able to get a small single room instead of the small 4-bedded room shared with his squad members. He continued meditating and playing around with floating objects. BUt MIA knew there would be a day that he would be exposed.

This day came sooner than expected. MIA was friends with a few people, very few, and many who MIA suspected hated him-basically everyone but some of his friends. Even is MIA was a squadron leader he still had to use the communal bathrooms. One night, three captains of the stormtroopers had walked into the changing rooms.  
“FN-2189 I believe it is time to report for reconditioning.” One of them said.  
“Yes, sir.” MIA did not argue his superiors even though he knew they were out of line. He tried to walk away as usually that is another way of saying “dismissed”. MIA was pushed to the ground when he tried to walk around the officers.  
“We will be conducting your reconditioning.” Apparently, MIA was too soft on his squad and rumour of his emotional sensitivity behind his mask made the officers mad that he bypassed reconditioning and “disgraced the First Order”. Too many emotions were building up: fear, anger, helplessness, and humiliation. Soon, two Captains were holding MIA up by his arms but not letting his legs extend to gain footing. The other started with his fists until MIA’s lip split and then kicked him to the ground and the other two dropped him. MIA just felt confusion from the blows but everything became crystal clear once his chin and arms were grabbed. He saw the other captains removing their armour. MIA began to panic and struggle but his arms were firmly grasped. He yelled but his mouth was covered with a hand which he desperately tried to bite through the thick fabric on the palm of the hand.  
The moment a hand touched an area MIA saw red. Screams were heard and MIA was shaking with fury and couldn’t think straight. He just wanted them away from him no matter what. Soon there was more noise and people rushing towards him but MIA couldn’t recognize faces even more than usual and it set him off again when he was being grabbed again. He was screaming to get away and to not touch him. Banging was heard and blasters shot but all that happened was more lights in front of him and he pushed them aside. Soon there were too many people surrounding him and he made a break for it and split the crowd with ease without touching them and ran to stalked towards his room. Luckily his room was close to the showers, only one hallway down. He heard loud footsteps behind him but he just shut the door behind himself and paced in his room. He tried to breathe deeply because he began to realize how much he was shaking and his vision was beginning to clear and recognize his surroundings. There was banging on the doors that made it difficult.  
“FN-2189 surrender yourself.” It was Captain Phasma. With tears still fresh in his eyes and as blank of a face as he could possibly muster after a few deep breaths. Phasma held out handcuffs somewhat gently for an arrest. MIA took a quick look at the handcuffs and stared at Phasma.  
“No.” He said firmly. Phasma was perplexed. She looked at my state and my shaking hands.  
“Follow me.” She commanded. The guards around MIA stood as far away as possible and never took their eyes off him. MIA was put in a rather large prison cell and was told to not speak or create any large disturbance and then was left alone with scared troopers with their communications always on. After what felt like thirty seconds of deep breaths and pacing while not keeping his eyes off the door, looking at the stormtroopers, he sat on the bed and tried to control his shaking. His mind kept going through waves of anger of remembering what the Captains did, which began to slowly recede. He began getting angry for another reason. He just exposed himself all because of that scum. He couldn’t even express his anger without breaking the simple rules given. After what seemed like an hour, General Hux entered, furious. MIA stood up straight immediately.  
“FN-2189 explain why three Captains were found dead in the communal shower at 2000 hours?” Hux accused.  
“They died?” MIA asked, trying to be as quiet as possible to not anger Hux even more. There was a pause.  
“You mean to tell me you don’t remember?” Hux was beginning to raise his voice.  
“All I know is I needed them to stop then they were gone. I didn’t see them anywhere but I knew they were in the room. Then there were more people coming at me” Even then, MIA still could not stop shaking.  
“Stop what? Calling you names? Spreading rumours? Are you that weak that you need to shoot them? To beat them unconscious?” He was shouting at this point and MIA was getting angry at the patronization. He chose to remain silent, and what many people know, MIA is stubborn when angry and stares into people’s eyes. Suddenly MIA’s head jerked to the left with a stinging pain on his right cheek.  
“Don’t you dare look into my eyes you traitorous scum! You’re lucky I don’t execute you right here. Now tell me. Stop. What? What. Happened?”  
Again, MIA stayed silent. Luckily, MIA was able to not let his anger rise above a certain level as slaps turned into punches but soon Hux crossed the line. He had MIA restrained and grabbed his chin.  
“Tell me!” He shouted before he flew out of the cell and the guards crashed into the cell walls.  
“Stop touching me!” MIA cried in desperation and was crying once again. Hux was wide eyed on the floor, clutching his left arm. Soon Kylo Ren came into view and MIA tried to stand straight again with laboured breathing, trying not to sob out of fear.  
“Follow me.” Kylo said.  
“Yes, commander.” MIA replied quietly but still showing signs of anger and fear. MIA was brought to the training room and he never stopped watching Kylo’s movements. When Kylo turned MIA got into a defensive position even if Kylo was not in an attack stance. Kylo pointed to a medicine ball.  
“Pick that up.” he ordered. MIA knew immediately that he was testing him. Without breaking eye contact the ball quickly floated between the two. The last thing MIA wanted to do was waste Kylo’s time and make him angry. MIA made the ball slowly drop and there was a long silence and by this time MIA thought his shaking was from fear but at this point he couldn’t be sure. Kylo then activated his lightsaber and went to strike MIA but MIA stopped him instinctively with the force but immediately stopped when he realized what he did and Kylo continued with his strike but stopping himself right before touching MIA. The heat of the saber made MIA tremble but still never broke eye contact. The light saber deactivated and Kylo took a step forward. MIA tensed and stared at Kylo with wide brown eyes. He took off his helmet and almost instantly felt more at ease seeing a human face rather than a mask.  
“Calm yourself. You will not be punished.” He said in a neutral tone. MIA remained silent.  
“If you become my apprentice you will become more powerful than everyone you fear. You would not be under General Hux or any trooper. You will be safe.” MIA felt a tug to accept once he heard the word “safe”.  
“I’m okay.” MIA said quietly but loud enough to be heard.  
“It is either become my apprentice or become a traitor.” MIA was silent for a while.  
“Okay.” MIA said with resolve. He didn’t want to face Hux or Phasma.  
Kylo Ren approached MIA and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and then said:  
“Follow me.” MIA was was brought to a large room with its own bathroom and kitchenette.  
“This will be your new room and I will make the announcement of your promotion.” MIA nodded. He left abruptly, leaving MIA alone with his thoughts. What did I do? MIA thought. Did I fall to the dark side? Will I have to fight against the light when I could be fighting on the lightside? MIA began crying. He was overwhelmed with all the events that occured. His shaking stopped but his tears were now the unstoppable thing that exposed his emotions. He started hitting hit head to stop and eventually stopped crying and went to grab a glass of water. Thankfully there were two of everything in the room as a default for a one person room. MIA didn’t know what to do. He didn’t feel like he was allowed to be in the room and wasn’t sure how to interact with higher ups since he wasn’t allowed to even look at superiors without an order from another higher up. Soon Kylo came back and MIA stood up quickly.  
“I have some things to discuss. Please sit down.” He said while taking his mask off again.  
“Of course, sir.” MIA replied. They both sat down at the kitchen table near the door and kitchenette.  
“Now, when did you discover you were strong with the force?” Kylo got straight to business.  
“During my stay on the planet when I didn’t make it to the ship for the evacuation.” MIA replied quickly.  
“How did you awaken this power?” MIA started to fidget.  
“Before the attack, I was the guard to your training room and decided to copy you because I was bored. I mostly meditated.” Kylo was quiet.  
“Yes I remember your ID from that time. Were you able to sense the force before this?”  
“I don’t know, sir.”  
“You don’t know?”  
“Yes, sir. I don’t know for sure which feelings I get is the force and what isn’t. I have been just trying to rationalize everything from my understanding of the world.”  
“Then I will teach you.”  
“Thank you, sir.” MIA could tell Kylo was trying to think of other things he wanted to ask. Finally, the silence broke.  
“Is there a name you would like?” MIA was taken aback.  
“A name?”  
“Yes, I do not want my apprentice to be known as FN-2189.”  
“I don’t know, sir. I’ve never thought of one.”  
“Then we should go with a normal name. Arn, Mike, Miles or even Harry. What do you think?” MIA perked up at one name.  
“Miles sounds great, sir.” Miles felt like the name fit him perfectly. Most likely since it was a name that Kylo practically named him and made Miles feel like he was given a place in the world. Miles’s face softened and a small smile appeared. Kylo cleared his throat.  
“New clothes will be prepared and training begins the day after tomorrow. For food, there will be meals sent here until you are able to integrate into the apprentice role appropriately.”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“Good. Then I’ll take my leave. Feel free to walk around the base without restriction.”  
“Thank you, sir.” Kylo stops at the door and turns towards Miles once more.  
“I hope you will be able to see the power of the dark side and reject the seductive call to the light.” Miles just nodded and Kylo patted Miles on the shoulder awkwardly and left. Miles just stood and looked at his new room, holding the shoulder what was patted and felt content. He appreciated the sentiment a lot and even smiled about it for a while. Miles hated it, but he started to feel like Kylo accepted him and felt like he could have a friend in his new position, seeing that his old friends might hate him now. Miles didn’t want to set himself up for possible rejection so he tried to stay impartial towards Kylo so that if Kylo begins to hate him, Miles wouldn’t hurt as much. Miles was still scared to leave his room, afraid that more people would see that he was with the lightside more than the dark. Thankfully, once of the troopers who brought his meals was FN-2187.  
“Hey.” 87 said. He was eyeing the bruises on Miles’s face.  
“Hey. How are you?” Miles replied.  
“Is it true? You killed those captains because they called you soft?” Miles sighed and held his hand out for his meal and before he closed the door he replied.  
“They were undressing me.” Miles did not want to speak further and already felt exposed but 87 was his most trusted friend, and this was proven by a yelp. 87 kept the door open with his arm and foot. Miles rushed to reopen the door and guide him to a seat.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Yes but what about you? What did you mean?” Miles didn’t reply and shook his head.  
“89, you can tell me.”  
“No I can’t. Not now.” 87 nodded. There was a silence.  
“So you can use the force?” 87 said suddenly.  
“Yeah.” Miles sighed.  
“And you’re going to use it for the First Order?” 87 seemed to regret the question the second it was asked.  
“Yeah.” Miles said sadly.  
“And you’re okay with that?” Miles made brief eye contact as his answer. 87 seemed to be okay with this answer.  
“I wish you the best, 89. I need to return to my duties.”  
“You too, 87.”  
“Oh, it’s Miles now right? See you around, Miles.” Miles says his farewell with a slight bitterness. The name gave him a sense of belonging to the higher ups but outcasts him from his other friends.  
The first training day was harsh. It was clear that Kylo had almost no patience and yelled a lot and threw things. Miles had a hard time with sword training and mind reading.  
“Try harder! You’re not trying!” Soon enough Miles shut down. He moved sluggishly and fought back tears to see Kylo’s next move with the wooden sword. Soon enough Kylo’s swords is smashed onto a wall. Miles stood at attention ready for whatever Kylo was about to throw at him.  
“To be one with the force you need to concentrate!” Kylo seethed.  
“I don’t think I understand, sir. May I have more guidance?” Miles tried to sound as polite as possible. Kylo sighed and raked his hand through his hair.  
“Anger. Focus on anger, fear, passion, anything! These raw emotions unlocks your true power.”  
“Yes, sir.” Kylo looked Miles over and sighed.  
“Come. We’ll go eat.” Kylo patted Miles’s shoulder and they walk towards the upper class cafeteria to pick up food to bring to their respective rooms. Before they parted ways Kylo did something that shocked Miles. Instead placing a hand on his shoulder, a hand was placed on his head as if he was ruffling Miles’s hair. Miles stared after Kylo, confused. Miles kept on feeling conflicted with this affection being shown. Kylo never even acknowledged Miles before he was awakened. Sure there was never any reason to be cruel to Miles, even though relaying messages did irritate Kylo, but Miles never thought he would be seen as a person like this. 

Miles’s training continued for months and was showing a lot of improvement. He would meet up with 87 rarely and Hux generally kept his distance even though Miles made attempts to apologize, but they never seemed to be listened to. Kylo had made numerous attempts to make Miles not afraid of him but Miles still felt on edge every time he had to be in the same room as his superiors. Nothing was changed about Miles’s fear until his first mission to Naboo to search for a rebel base. They had been right and found a small research base, quite heavily guarded. Miles was instructed to be there as an observer and was ordered not to fight unless absolutely necessary. Miles took this as never leaving the commander’s side and watched how Kylo fought. Miles had an idea of how he would feel in combat but the idea could never compare to the actual experience. As they had gotten halfway through the base to find intel on the whereabouts of Skywalker, they were suddenly surrounded. Most of the action was farther ahead but now MIles had to face the fight. He drew his lightsaber. He was able to deflect a substantial amount of blasters but he was unable to actually cut down the shooters. He pushed the rebels to the walls with fallen debris from exploded walls from bombs but he watched in horror how Kylo killed them afterwards. A moment too long in his horror allowed a rebel to shoot a lucky shot into Miles’s back and Miles yelped in pain. Kylo immediately whipped his head around to see who had shot his apprentice and found it to be from a pilot boarding a ship. The pilot managed to get a clean shot and escaped as the transport area was down the hall and many stairs. The pilot got away but Kylo had his full attention on Miles.  
“Hux, get a medic on standby, Miles is injured.” Miles was carried by Kylo back to the Finalizer to be brought to base. Miles couldn't do much but too tightly grasp Kylo’s arm while curling inwards, as any movement to do otherwise brought new waves of pain. Mile was getting worried because of the tingling sensation in his legs but couldn't get the words out.  
“It’s okay. We have the best of the best in the medbay. You are too important for anything less.” Kylo suddenly said. Miles’s mind was running a mile a minute and was still on high alert from the battle which is why he saw a rebel in the forest aiming a shot. Before the blast could reach the two Miles quickly raised his hand and froze it and the shooter. Kylo turned towards the scene but continued to walk forwards. Miles was trembling to much and was beginning to lose to the pain and released the shooter with a gasp, and then everything went dark. 

When Miles came to he jolted awake trying to recognize his surroundings. Medics quickly laid him back down and explained his condition. He was lucky to be in good hands and that the pilot was too far away to get a direct shot at Miles’s spine and so he was not paralyzed. He had been placed into a medically induced coma just incase he jolted awake as he did and rip open his wounds. Apparently, Kylo had personally come to the medbay to get updates as well. Soon after hearing this information, Miles turned to the opening door to see Kylo walk in. He froze for a second when He was aware that Miles was awake.  
“Miles, I am glad to see you awake. I have been told that you will be resting for the next week. You will be focusing on mental techniques from tomorrow on.” Kylo explained.  
“Yes, sir. Understood.” Miles replied. Kylo turned towards the medical staff and they quickly cleared from the room. Kylo sat down, pulling a chair next to Miles’s bed.  
“I sensed a lot of unease on the battlefield. You do realize this fear will end up in deaths.” Kylo did not phrase that as a question and so Miles just replied “Yes, sir.”  
“We will have to work on your ability to fight without sympathy towards the rebellion. You should feel lucky that I am the one to train you and not the Supreme Leader.”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“Good. I must return to my duties. Rest well, Miles. I look forward to our next training session.” Kylo left with a good ruffling of Miles’s already messy hair. This was one of the moments Miles cherished the most. Miles could tell that Kylo was not going to enforce his goal of crushing Miles’s sympathetic nature as Miles could sense conflict within Kylo. Miles started to feel like Kylo was exactly like him, except for the emotion used to fuel his power. What Miles couldn’t feel yet, was how much he depended on Kylo and the First Order for a sense of security and belonging, even though he did not want to be there at the same time. Miles wouldn’t understand this until a week later.  
Even though Miles wasn’t training with Kylo for the following week, Kylo made sure to check in on his meditation progress and even watch his meditation to test his concentration. Miles noticed that he smiled more than when he was a stormtrooper, but he still felt like everyone was about to turn on him. He felt like he needed to barricade his door at night in case someone tried to kill him. Miles felt like he didn’t belong, yet he had nowhere else to go who would take him in. He was holding onto the fact that Kylo made a place for him, even though Miles feared the idea that this place can disappear any second.  
A week went by, and Miles felt closer to Kylo with many training sessions that didn’t focus on combat and it felt like the two were just sharing space peacefully. A specific day MIles remembers clearly is the time Kylo tested Miles’s ability to block Kylo from his mind, and Miles was even able to start reading Kylo’s mind. Miles stopped the second he got in and looked and stared at his master. Kylo beamed with pride before he composed himself. Miles felt like he was glowing for the rest of the day before it got ruined. He was called to the control deck by the General while Hux and Kylo were staring each other down.  
“You would be wise to not let your personal goals to cloud the mission, Ren.” Hux said angrily.  
Kylo stormed off, not having a comeback to such an accusation. Hux then turned to Miles when Kylo had left.  
“And you. I hope you know that our mission requires a strong person. If you are as weak with the force as many have said, then you are as useful and replaceable as any other stormtrooper.” Miles didn’t feel as angry as the officers thought as they braced themselves for the ignition of a lightsaber. Miles just felt pained and silently agreed. He felt as if everyone in the room didn’t acknowledge him as a human any more than when he was a stormtrooper. Hux seemed pleased to have proven himself right that Miles wasn’t merciless enough to kill Hux then and there for such an insult. Miles’s paranoia had increased that night. He placed nearly all his furniture at his door and highly considered sleeping in the small closet for extra protection, but ended up just sleeping in his bed with a few weapons on each side of the bed and under his pillow, along with his saber still clipped to his belt.  
This continued until his next mission. They were to go and investigate a lead on the whereabouts of Skywalker on Jakku. MIles was unable to get the details of the mission, only that Miles was to stay by Kylo’s side to ensure the person being questioned would be pressured to give information by outnumbering him. He was nearly shaking with nerves as he boarded the Finalizer with Kylo. Kylo went to place his arm around Miles’s shoulders.  
“I sense unrest. As long as you obey your orders you have nothing to fear.” Kylo said only for Miles to hear.  
“Of course, master.”  
“Is there another source that I do not know of then?”  
“Yes, master but it is nothing to be worried about. I just have to stop overthinking and control my emotions.” Kylo seemed satisfied with the answer as he felt that it was the truth. Miles watched the empty space and felt like something big would happen, which along with his anxieties made him feel worse. He was sitting in Kylo’s room in silence. MIles began worrying that he was going to have to prove that Kylo should keep an apprentice and that he was one mistake away from being disposed of as a traitor. Kylo spoke up as Miles was getting worse.  
“The man we are about to see is force sensitive so you must control your emotions. Is there anything which you wish to speak of?” Miles just spoke out, seeing as they were the only two in the room.  
“You don’t have to train me if you don’t want to.” This alone spoke volumes. Kylo soften his stare.  
“Is that all you’re worrying about? Truely?” Miles nodded with a half shrug, implying there was more details but didn’t wish to continue.  
“Was there anyone who told you you were unworthy or unimportant to me?” Miles half shrugged.  
“Kinda.” Miles trailed off.  
“Who?” Miles debated telling him.  
“You can tell me, Miles.” MIles sighed before replying quietly.  
“General Hux.” Miles flinched at the sudden bang. Kylo had bashed with fist on a metal wall. Kylo knew he couldn’t just kill a general as easily as Snoke somewhat acknowledge Hux’s capability.  
“I’ll kill him.” Miles’s eyes widened.  
“That would hurt the chain of command and were are on a mission, sir.” Miles tried to appeal to Kylo.  
“You are too weak, Miles. He is easier to replace.”  
“But I have a bad feeling about this mission already, I’m worried that this would add to it.” Kylo stared coldly at Miles.  
“Do you know of any reason I should be worried about this mission?”  
“I don’t know. I just feel like something is coming.” Kylo stared down Miles trying to see if MIles would give in.  
“Let me search you. I need to know how big this feeling is. It may be pertinent to how the mission is carried out.” Miles’s stomach dropped, knowing how painful it is, but nodded and dropped his defenses. Kylo took a few minutes but with less resistance, it was less painful. Soon, Kylo happened on the memory of Hux chewing him out and got angry again and MIles started feeling his emotions from that situation, and not wanting Kylo to know his weakness, he shut him out completely.  
“Let me back in, Miles. I need to know how much that has affected you.”  
“It hurt, yes.”  
“You need to tell me these things.” Miles nodded half heartedly agreeing. Miles was fighting back tears as he began feeling overwhelmed. Kylo stood up and sat down next to Miles on a black bench. He lifted his arm awkwardly as usual and placed a comforting hand on MIles’s back.  
“You will always have a place here no matter what. We are connected in the force and though I am not sure why, we will rule side by side.”  
“Thank you.” Miles quietly murmured. Kylo pulled him into a quick but meaningful side-hug. Miles turned to look at Kylo with a small smile of gratitude, not fully convinced of his words but nonetheless felt his anxieties be quelled for a moment. 

The ship finally landed on Jakku. Miles was told that they were looking for an old man already apprehended by stormtroopers. Only a glance was spared in Miles’s direction by the man which Miles was semi-grateful for. The man seemed to hint at Kylo’s family but MIles was more focused on trying to sense anyone about to attack and missed a lot. Then, he sensed someone. His mind was running a mile a minute. Miles could sense his emotions as clear as day: resolve, fear, determination, courage, almost everything Miles could wish for. He almost saw him lining his shot up and Miles felt fear rise up. He knew that Kylo was too powerful to be shot down by a small blaster. He reached into the man’s mind, Don’t sh- but it was too late. The man, startled by the voice shot the blaster as a last ditch effort. Miles turned towards the shot, covering Kylo and held his hand out. The shot faltered and diverged its path but still managed to lodge into Miles’s right shoulder.  
“Miles!” Kylo shouted. He turned to where the shot came from and froze the man in place as he was apprehended. When the man was in cuffs Kylo placed a hand on MIles’s good shoulder.  
“Are you okay?” Miles nodded trying to ignore the pain. He looked at the man in cuffs and made eye contact. The man’s brows twisted in confusion trying to figure out who MIles was.  
“Go to the ship and lay down.” Kylo ordered. With a quick nod Miles turned too quickly a sharp pain spread and felt warmth run down his arm. Before the prisoner was out of Miles’s peripheral he saw the prisoner raised an eyebrow. Miles walked by many troopers and went towards what seemed to be the medbay, chose a bed by the window and let the droids cauterize the wound. Miles saw the prisoner being carried away struggling while the stormtroopers’ guns aimed at civilians. When the first flash of red was shot, Miles looked away, feeling the villagers’ pain. He also felt the pain of the prisoner as well. When the droid finished he joined Kylo in the same room they were in before. Kylo stood up when Miles entered.  
“How is it?” He asked.  
“I’m out for the month, sir.” Miles answered. Kylo sighed.  
“Thank you.” Kylo said sincerely. Miles nodded in acknowledgement.  
“What happened? Did everything go okay?”  
“We will take in the prisoner for questioning. The old man gave him the piece of the map.”  
“Will you be interrogating him?”  
“No. Only if our personnel is unable to extract the information.”  
When they arrived to the main ship Miles went to his room to rest. He was restless as he felt like whatever disturbance was planned in the force had been set in motion and he set out to see if 87 was around. He ran into Captain Phasma in the hangar followed by 87.  
“Hey.” Miles called out. 87 seemed panicked.  
“Hey.” 87 was looking around a lot.  
“What’s wrong 87?”  
“I couldn’t do it Miles.” 87 whispered. “My blaster will be sent for an inspection and I didn’t use it against the villagers.”  
“You were there?”  
“Yeah. How are you? I saw you get shot!” 87 started exclaiming as he zeroed in on Miles’s wrapped wound.  
“I’m okay. I just can’t train for a month. I might get something for pain though. I’m starting to get dizzy.”  
“Yeah go lie down 89, I mean Miles. Here I’ll walk you to your room in case of.” With that, they started walking side by side to Miles’s room. As they walked they ran into another Captain.  
“FN-2187 you were ordered to go for weapons inspection.” They said threatenly.  
“He is escorting me because I am beginning to feel really unwell.” Miles replied quickly.  
“Understood, sir. Excuse me, sir.” The trooper left and 87 exhaled in relief.  
“I think I might get killed, 89.”  
“No you won’t, don’t worry. They’ll just send you to reconditioning and this is your first infraction.” 87 nodded at that.  
“You’re okay with me forgetting you, 89?” Miles stopped for a second.  
“I wish you wouldn’t. You’re one of my closest friends.” Miles said lowly. They stopped at Miles’s door and they turned towards each other.  
“Take off the helmet, 87.” Miles said and 87 complied. Miles then looked at his friend’s face and hugged him as best as he could around the bulky armour.  
“I hope we’ll still be friends.” 87 said as he hugged back.  
A cough interrupted the moment. Kylo stared them down. 87 quickly split them apart and scramble to put his helmet on. Miles felt awkward because of the exposing of his affectionate side.  
“We will be conducting the interrogation it seems. First you then me.” Kylo ordered. He then stared at 87, before turning and leaving. Miles looked at his friend one more time and patted his shoulder before leaving towards the interrogation room. He caught up with Kylo several seconds after Kylo entered the room. Kylo motioned towards the man and Miles walked towards the man. He was handsome but in this state he was Miles could only feel sorry for the man since he knew how painful it would be. He raised his hand towards the man and began. The man’s face, Poe’s face started twisting in agony, but so did Miles’s. Miles could only find basic information before his vision started darkening and he stopped to turn towards Kylo, swaying off balance. Kylo steadied him to help him gain footing.  
“Go. Have another medic check your wound and then go to your quarters.”  
Miles did so and got put on heavy painkillers and he knocked out in his room. An hour later he was woken up as two figures barged into his room.  
“No no no no why are we in a room with Kylo’s apprentice? Is this a set up?” A voice Miles recognized sounded. Poe Dameron.  
“It’s okay. It’s all good. He’s my friend.” That was 87.  
“87? What are you doing here?” Miles tried to get up but was too groggy and promptly sat back down, rubbing his face.  
“89 you okay to go?” 87 said.  
“Go where? I’m on heavy painkillers, 87 I’m too tired for this.”  
“Even better! Come on you’ll be my hostage.” Miles was then dragged of his bed and heard Poe’s handcuff get off and was handed a blaster.  
“I don’t like this. I really don’t like this.” Poe said.  
“Don’t worry. We’re right next to the hangar. We’ll run in, get a ship, and run.” 87 explained. Miles didn’t quite hear the rest as he was jumping from consciousness to unconsciousness as he was quickly carried somewhere. Shots were fired as they were discovered but promptly halted as a yell called out.  
“They have the Commander’s apprentice!” Followed by. “Shoot the traitor!” The shouts were then silenced as a door shut and a ship began to take off. Miles then realized he was on the ship.  
“Wait what’s going on 87? Where are we going? I can’t go on any missions for another month. The meds make me sleepy. I wanna go back to bed.” Miles whined.  
Miles was placed on the ground and strapped to something but Miles just fell asleep once again.  
He was jolted awake again during the descent. Warnings were blaring and shots were heard all around. The two others in the ship were yelling.  
“We’re heading back to Jakku!”  
“What? No!” Miles barely heard the rest as he struggled to stay awake. Soon he was grabbed by someone and strapped to the person.  
“We’re gonna crash, don’t resist.” Poe said. Soon after breaching the planet’s atmosphere, Miles was ejected along with Poe to parachute down. It wasn’t soon after that Miles lost consciousness.  
When he woke next it was night and Poe was shaking him awake. Miles had slept off the painkillers and awoke in pain.  
“Come on! We’ve got to get to the resistance.” Poe said.  
“What? No. Where’s 87?”  
“I don’t know who that is. Finn? The guy with us? Yeah I’m calling him Finn.”  
“Finn? Okay. But I’ll be killed if I go to the resistance. I can only go back to the First Order.” Miles protested.  
“Well I can’t go to the First Order and don’t worry about the resistance. If Finn says you’re alright then I trust you for now, now get up. We’re going.” Miles was pulled upwards and dragged through the desert towards anywhere to find a new ship. Still in a slight daze, Miles was compliant as he didn’t want to resist too much. He noticed that Poe didn’t have his jacket but didn’t say anything. Soon they crossed paths with a scavenger and Miles left Poe to negotiate since his nerves were setting the scavenger, Nakka, off. Soon Poe turned around with a smile.  
“We got a friend!” Soon they were off. Their luck didn’t last long as they were caught off guard by more scavengers. Poe managed to quickly steer Miles around to make an escape on the scavengers’ vehicules. Miles felt his wound worsen and Poe’s manhandling and having to hold onto him during the rides, but said nothing as his worth to Poe was based only on Finn’s friendship with him. At the next nightfall, Poe and Nakka seemed to be having a long conversation which Poe didn’t translate until Nakka seemed content with what he had to say and went to sleep.  
“He said he will help us get off this planet to reunite with the resistance.” Miles nodded and went to lay down, wincing as subtle as possible.  
“Is your shoulder alright? The bandage is pretty dirty and you’re bleeding again.” Poe worried.  
“I’m okay.”  
“I don’t think so let me see.” Miles sat up again, but with his darkening vision he nearly fell back if Poe didn’t catch him. Poe began unraveling his bandages and inspecting his wound.  
“So what’s your name by the way? Finn called you 89.” Poe began.  
“Miles.”  
“Miles Ren?”  
“No just Miles, I am not a knight of Ren.”  
“Where did Kylo find you? We would have also had you on our radar since you’re force sensitive.”  
“I was a stormtrooper.”  
“I see. So you were basically destined to be a sith.” Miles stayed silent.  
“But how can a kid like you be a sith? You practically let me drag you everywhere and kidnap you while you were drugged up on painkillers. Really strong ones I might add. It took me way too long to wake you up. You could sleep through anything.” Miles let out a smile at that.  
“Were you and Finn in the same team?”  
“Yes. He’s one of my friends.”  
“Huh, stormtroopers can make friends too. Hard to humanize you guy with the masks.” This was met with another silence.  
“Not much of a talker, eh? I can respect that. But you know, it’s kinda hard to trust someone from the First Order in the first place so…” He trailed off.  
“I, um, was promoted to squad leader after returning to the First Order after being stranded on a planet.” Miles started.  
“And why would you go back to that place? They treat you like pawns. I heard that Kylo even kills troopers for fun.”  
“No he just kills our equipment.” Miles said with a laugh and even earned a smile from Poe.  
“Wouldn’t the resistance just kill me though? I was a stormtrooper. The resistance kills anyone from the First Order and hates us. I would probably be tortured to death I-”  
“Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Where did you hear that? You ever hear of the word propaganda?” Poe interrupted as Miles struggled to choke back tears.  
“I can only belong to the First Order. I don’t belong anywhere. I barely belong there.” Miles whispered the last part but Poe managed to catch it.  
“Wow I guess there is hope for the stormtroopers if they ever defect.” Poe said as he finished redressing Miles’s wound.  
“That’s if they don’t get caught and sent to reconditioning.”  
“Reconditioning? Now I thought that was just a rumour.”  
“Finn was about to be sent there because he didn’t fire of the villagers on Jakku. He wasn’t deployed for a mission until that day. He was in sanitation.”  
“Ha. I guess I kidnapped a couple of janitors. Wait, how did you not get sent to reconditioning after getting stranded? How long were you on that planet?”  
“I don’t really know. I stopped counting after a while because I wasn’t sure if I was making ticks everyday. I stopped at around 268 days. I kinda made it seem like I didn’t need reconditioning. With the force and everything.”  
“So you knew how to use the force already?”  
“Yeah, I was Kylo’s assistant during his training sessions and so I just copied him and figured out whatever I could.” Poe stared at Miles in wonder.  
“Wow.”  
“Yeah.” The conversation promptly died there.  
“Well we better sleep. Nakka knows a place with ships. We will get there by tomorrow.”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“No no no no, not sir. Call me Poe.”  
“Okay… Poe.”  
“Sleep tight, princess.”  
“Good… night, Poe.” Miles’s voice felt raw from all of the talking and dehydration. Conversations with Kylo or anyone never lasted long as Miles was sent from room to room.  
Soon, they were on a stolen ship again. Miles wasn’t the greatest co-pilot but he was able to manage the guns to get rid of their pursuers. Five junkyard fighting ships were following them. Poe managed to evade the majority on their shot by flipping around every which way, even by flying through an asteroid belt and damaging their right engine. Only two ships were taken out by Miles’s guns and the rest were from the asteroids.  
“Nice shot, Miles!”  
“Thank you!” Miles called out, smiling.  
“Hang on. We are going into hyperdrive!”  
Almost immediately, the ship was cruising through hyperdrive and Miles left the gun to go towards the pilot area. Halfway towards his goal, Miles hesitated. He wasn’t sure if Poe would like him in the co-pilot seat. So Miles just sat in a room with a table and a round couch. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself and began just memorizing the look of the light gray room. It seemed to be a small eating area with everything compacted into the walls. The dark gray areas seemed to be where the food was kept, but Miles just stayed seated, back too straight, and possibly bleeding slightly. Soon the door opened and Poe walked in and spotted Miles.  
“Hey, you in here because you’re hungry? You can go to the front if you want.”  
“I’m okay.” Miles replied. Poe gave him an exasperated look.  
“Come on. Let’s see what they’ve got.” Miles stood up and went over to where Poe was and started looking into the cupboards.  
After a much needed meal, they had arrived at the resistance base. Poe announced his arrival but vaguely mentioned who his other passenger was. When they landed Miles let Poe get out first and sort of, hid in the ship for a bit before Poe grabbed his wrist to pull him out of the ship. As Miles made eye contact with an older lady, the General, he saw that he was in trouble. He heard murmurs all around. The lady spoke up.  
“Who’s your friend, Dameron?”  
“General Leia, hey! Can we talk in private?” Poe motioned to the crowd that had gathered.  
“Sure. He comes too.” Leia ordered pointing towards Miles. The three walked to a private room while onlookers stared at the newcomer. Finally Leia whipped around to face Poe.  
“How could you bring him here?”  
“He’s okay. He’s cool. He helped me escape the First Order.” Poe defended while Miles started to get scared.  
“Did he now?” Leia raised an eyebrow.  
“Okay maybe I kidnapped him but he’s friends with the guy that helped me.” Leia turned towards Miles.  
“Who are you?”  
“Miles.” Miles was scared silent. He couldn’t fathom what would happen if he said more.  
“And?”  
“I am from the First Order.”  
“And!” Poe interrupted.  
“You’re scaring the kid. He’s harmless. Okay maybe he was a little bit of a bigshot but he certainly isn’t a killer or anything. Not an evil bone in this skinny kid.” Leia waited with her eyebrow even higher.  
“And.. was Ren’s apprentice.” That’s when Leia exploded.  
“Guards!” Soon there were people grabbing Miles and he started to panic and look at Poe for help. Poe was trying to calm Leia down.  
“Whoa whoa whoa whoa look at him! Does he look like he’s gonna hurt somebody? Can’t you tell whether he’s good or bad?” Leia just stared at Miles.  
“We need to be careful, Poe. Ben was also innocent in the past. Plus, you have a reason to trust him but no one else. We need to do this for the others too.”  
“But General, the kid is hurt. He needs to go to the medbay.”  
“We will send a medic but that’s it. And look at him. He’s not a kid, Dameron.” Poe turned towards Miles.  
“How old are you?”  
“Twenty.” Poe sighed.  
“Basically a kid then.”  
With a wave of Leia’s tired hand Miles was being dragged to the prison. With a kick to the back, Miles was on the ground of the cell. Miles struggled to breathe as his arm began throbbing in pain. Reality began setting in and Miles couldn’t stop his tears but was able to stop his sobs. He made his way to the end of the cell where the bed was and placed his head between his knees to stop his dizziness. The cell door opened and the medic can in to check his shoulder. After redressing the wound and giving him a dose of antibiotics the medic left and Poe walked in.  
“Hey, bud how you doing?”  
“I’m okay.” Poe took a moment to look him over.  
“No, you’re not.” Miles shrugged at Poe’s comment.  
“Well I gotta go on a mission so I’ll be gone for about a day. If they do anything, tell me.” Miles just nodded. Poe went to pat Miles’s shoulder, but chose the wrong side and Miles flinched.  
“Oh, sorry.” Poe said quickly and then got up and left. Miles was then left alone with his thoughts, and the thoughts of his guards.  
“This kid thinks the First Order is gonna save him.”  
“Hah, like the First Order would take him now. He basically defected the way he left.”  
“I can’t wait to see his trial. That scum need to suffer for his crimes.”  
“I bet that kid was about to be killed in his sleep. How useful can a softie like that be?”  
Miles didn’t give them, or the other guards who relieved them, the satisfaction of seeing him cry, but he was already suffering mentally and emotionally. A guard walked up to the door.  
“Hey you, seems like Ren doesn’t want you. I heard he took a force sensitive girl and didn’t care when we told him we have you.” Miles didn’t respond the way he wanted and the door was opened and Miles was grabbed by his hair, forced to look at the guard.  
“Hey look! The kid’s been crying!” Soon the other guards surrounded Miles like they were gathering around an animal at the petting zoo. He was then thrown off the bed by his hair. He landed with a yelp. He glared at the guards which earned him a kick in the ribs.  
“Who you looking at, eh? What are you gonna go?” Soon Miles was being shocked with batons.  
“You think Dameron will save you too, eh? We can just tell him you attacked us.” Miles was having a hard time breathing and begin tearing up.  
“Hey look, devils do cry! You deserve this scum.” Miles continuously got beaten up but he was in so much pain he started seeing black.  
When he came to, he was on the ground still. His meal was wasting a few feet away from him. Miles started to cry. The guards were somewhere far, laughing and listening to music while Miles struggled to breathe as he buried his sobs into the dirty mattress. He started shaking, body wracked with sobs. He couldn’t think clearly when he saw it. A sharp metal sticking out of the wall, probably from a prisoner trying to scratch at the wall. Miles grabbed it and pressed it into his neck and laid on the bed, wound facing down. Hoping he wouldn’t be caught. Too soon, the cell door opened. Miles didn’t know how long he was like that but he had counted 259 seconds. He was being shaken but couldn’t see who it was as it was too dark and was facing the wall. Miles could hear the voice. It was Poe.  
“Hey, Miles how’s it going?”  
“I’m okay. I want to sleep for a bit.” Miles said.  
“Wow this mattress is dirty. The last guy must have had it bad, huh?”  
“Yeah.” Miles was beginning to see stars.  
“You really okay? Come on look at me.” Poe placed his hand on his arm but Miles resisted.  
“Miles? What’s wrong? Did those guys say something?”  
“No.” Another voice of a guard speaks up.  
“We just teased him. That’s all.” Poe glared at them.  
“Hey, come on I’ll talk to them later. Just look at me. You’re acting weird.” Miles stayed silent and continued to resist more. Soon, Finn’s voice rang out.  
“89? Where is he? Is he okay? Miles, I mean.” Oh no. was all Miles could think in his head. He was hoping to quietly go, and had anticipated that the resistance would just tell them he had run away.  
“Miles? What’s wrong? Poe what happened?”  
“I don’t know, Finn. He won’t let me talk to his face.” Finn knew Miles enough to get scared enough to forcefully turn Miles over, exposing the heavily bleeding neck wound and a vacant look in Miles’s eyes. Miles tried to turn away feebly.  
“We need a medic in cell 7.” Poe commed. Finn was holding Miles’s neck, holding on firmly, while tearing up at Miles’s attempts to brush him off.  
“89, come on! We can get through this! We can have a life here. Away from the First Order.” Finn tried to bargain through his tears. Miles placed his hand on his arm.  
“I’m glad you’re okay, Finn.” Was all Miles could say. He wasn’t sure if he was dead for the longest time. Soon more people came into the room and Miles was being carried away. Finns hand was replaced by an unrecognizable figure’s hand. Before he blacked out he heard Kylo’s voice.  
“Where are you?” Miles tried his best to reply.  
“I.. don’t..” And then Miles blacked out.  
When Miles came to, it took him a while to remember what had happened. He looked around and sighed loudly. He heard movement on his left.  
“Miles? Thank god!” Poe exclaimed. Miles looked to his left and immediately regretted it.  
“Whoa who whoa, no moving. You still gotta stay here for another couple of days.” Miles groaned.  
“Ugh, why?”  
“Well, I mean we wanna make sure… it… doesn’t happen.. again…” Poe trailed off. Miles turned away. Then he spotted Finn. In a tank.  
“Finn?” Miles started getting up and Poe again stopped him.  
“He’s okay. Just got into a fight with Kylo.” Miles snapped towards Poe.  
“What? When?”  
“On Starkiller base. We went to save Rey and stop Ren from destroying more planets.” Miles was confused.  
“Destroy planets?” Poe stopped for a second.  
“You didn’t know?” Miles shook his head. Miles began touching his neck, curious about the stiches. Poe grabbed his hand quickly, startling Miles.  
“Sorry. We don’t wanna lose you, you know?” Poe said awkwardly. Miles stared at Poe confused for a second before he composed himself. Miles just stayed in passive aggressive silence.  
“Hey, uh, can I ask?” Poe prodded. Miles shook his head no. Poe sighed deeply.  
“I just can’t believe a good kid like you would be treated like that. What did those guards say? Or is the First Order really that bad? Come on, bud, I wanna know. We’re friends right?” Miles hesitated.  
“It’s okay, really.” Miles then saw Leia from the corner of his eye. Miles began to feel very embarrassed. Poe must have noticed this.  
“Hey, it’s alright. We all know what happened with the guards. They’re in their own cells now for hurting you like that. I don’t know what came over them.” Miles just remained in stubborn silence. Poe sighed heavily.  
“I trust you, Miles. You’re my friend. I won’t let people hurt you. Trust me.”  
“But I’ve only known you for like a week. How can anyone trust anyone in a short time frame? How can anyone become anything in a week?” Miles rambled.  
“I see.” Poe trailed off.  
“Trust issues, amiright?” Miles muttered jokingly, seeing that he was the weird one in the conversation. This earned a small huff of laughter from Poe.  
“Bring it in, kid. You need it.” Poe said as he brought Miles in for a hug. Miles felt uncomfortable with this but tried to not let it show because he knew Poe had good intent.


End file.
